Health

Oh darling babies, how to insist upon you the importance of eating right and exercising? How can I show you that the more you move the more you’ll love yourself? Maybe, just maybe, you won’t fall into the trap of all other adolescents with a skewed self-image. 

The only way is to eat right and exercise myself. I can show you that a woman is allowed to have muscles and still look beautiful; I can show that a a man should treat a woman with respect and love her every curve, blip, and scar; I can show you that eating healthy doesn’t have to be icky, but absolutely delicious! 

Even though you will learn to be healthy and love your body, darlings, you are the ones who have showed me. Because of you I love my body more now than ever. Because of you I cherish each scar, each stretch mark, each indent. Because of you I know what eating right truly means. Because of you I push myself harder always wanting to be better—for you. You two make me into a better woman and for that I will always be grateful. 

Hopefully, my babies, you will love your children as much as I love you (hopefully, more!) and because of them you will become a better person as I have become a better person because of you. 

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Love your babies now…and Forever!

I know that time is fleeting and that my babies will soon be full grown adults who don’t need me, or probably even want me. But does that mean I should stop disciplining them? Stop being a parent? I want to spoil them so bad, love them and hug and cover them in kisses all day. Make every day about fun and games. Never giving them responsibilities because in the end they’ll have plenty of chores to do when they’re older. 

Every night when I go to bed I think about how quickly the day actually went by. And it brings to my eyes that my baby girl whom I was just breastfeeding yesterday can all tie her shoes, read a second grade level book, serve her own breakfast, help dress her brother, help Mommy bake (almost by herself). Do I need to discipline my children? Is yelling out like a banshee such a terrible thing? Heck, I wanna yell out like a banshee sometimes too when I don’t get my way. Why not? That’s it, i’m throwing away my…..*Child screaming in the distance. 

Scratch that. I always forever be the sergeant. 😥 At least at the end of the day I can still hug them to pieces, read them Golden Book stories, and appreciate their facility to fall asleep in two seconds.

Baby Boy

pit pat pit pat pit pat
your Feet slap against the white tiles
suck suck suck suck
goes your Mouth as if you’ve found the fountain of Youth on your mother’s breast

with each inch you grow
with each pound you gain
I see your Innocence fading into the Night.

each delightful Sleep you take
there It floats away.
each delicious meal you consume
there It floats away.

as Time robs you away from me
as quickly as a butterfly Dies,
I hold onto to your Innocence
in safekeeping.

one Day you’ll get it back
one Day you’ll know what it is to be young again.
on the Day I will lose you Forever.

Life

The quiet serenity of daily occurance
the hushed rustling of leaves
the constant flow of thoughts
the steadfast glow of morning light.
The rising sun in the dark morning
the bloom of a lotus
the innocent joy behind an infant’s smile
the needed help from a stranger.

The choices I make are for reasons I choose.

Dear children:

I was riding in the car today after visiting a friend in the hospital. The ride from the hospital back home was forty minutes. Both of you were relatively quiet and while Papa drove I stared at the passing landscape thinking of my parents and his parents at our age. I was thinking that in my opinion your grandparents made irrevocably wrong choices. Yes, I understand that if they hadn’t made those mistakes then I might not be sitting in that car with Papa and you, but that’s a whole other philosophy lesson.

Your grandparents were just as young when they had me. They made rash decisions: Pete joining the air force and Lola never finishing college. Same as Papa’s parents, well mostly Abuelo. He never wanted to re-take the bar exam for Florida and continuing his career as a lawyer, resulting in his family’s grave poverty for several years until finally fleeing back to Nicaragua.

Then I realized that even though I may not agree with our parents’ choices, they made them according to how they saw fit at the time. I still think they could’ve done better, but then it dawned on me that maybe you will not agree with the choices that I’ve made. So here is a list of reasons why I’ve made certain choices.

1. Rushing to finish school in a degree I will no longer pursue as a career: The reasons behind is this simple: Never. Give. Up. No matter what anyone tells you, how much they don’t believe in you, or how many obstacles you face; never give up. There is no excuse for not finishing your college career. I might not ever continue a career in psychology, but I value the lessons I learned and I don’t regret a day of late nights and online classes. Actually, majoring in psychology has proved quite helpful in raising you.

2. Not going back to school to do what I truly want: The only reason why I’m delaying this is because it’s more important for your Dad to finish school. Then, when he’s done, I will go back and rack up that college debt.

3. Not getting a “real” job: You. You are the reason why I refuse to get a 9-5 J.O.B. Your dad and I have made great sacrifices so that I may stay home and make sure your first five years are as developmentally enriching as possible. In the state of Florida it’s much cheaper for me to stay home and homeschool you, then sending you to the best school in the state.

If you have any other doubts as you get older about the choices your father and I have made, please know that we did it all for you. You are our biggest reasons for any choice we make. It is our love for you that helps move forward. So, please, as your beloved mother, never doubt us. And I promise to not doubt my parents.

Love,

Your Mama.